Origins:
Dogs evolved from Wolves. (Cats evolved from Chelsea)
Beagle:
Evolved from Charles Darwin
Ruff:
Worn by Elizabethan dogs
Pet:
Breed from Newcastle
Pedigree:
Canine qualification
Mongrel:
Genghis Khan's companion
Guide dog:
Conducts informative tours of historical sites of urination
Lapdog:
Canine sex worker
Heel:
Despicable dog
Dog Star:
Pluto
Bitch:
Features prominently in rap music
Doggerel:
Rap lyrics about bitches
Doggie fashion:
You won’t see this on the runway
Police dog:
Never comes when you call
Tail:
When it follows a suspect
Collar:
Canine arrest
Retriever:
Dog that finds loot
Fleas:
Markets for second-hand dogs
Dog-whistle:
Article in The Doggy Mail
Growl:
Dog food in “OliverTwist”
Dog walkers:
Bone-flavoured snack
Doggy bowl:
Canine haircut
Sniffer dog:
Hoity-toity hound
Cold nose:
Take this on trust. You don’t want to check, given where it has just been
Conclusion:
Walkies! Again…