Origins:
Turkey has been Hittite, Thracian, Greek, Roman, Byzantine, Ottoman, and many other things. Eventually the confused inhabitants thought “sod this for a game of Sultans” and decided to become Turkish
Continents:
However, they still can’t decide whether they’re in Europe or Asia
Ataturk:
Handily named founder of modern Turkey. Would have been more problematic had he been named Atabelgium, Atanewzealand, or Atademocraticrepublicofcongo
Erdoğan:
Current president of Turkey and defender of democracy, free speech, and the rule of law, honest ğuv
Ankara:
Turkish person nostalgic for Ataturk
Ottoman Empire:
Turkish version of Furniture World
Turkish carpet:
Being told off for telling the truth about President Erdoğan
Mosque:
Worn by protesters
Baklava:
Often worn with a mosque
Turkish delight:
Not being caught
Young Turk:
Hopes to run free
Aegean:
Elderly Turk who can’t run fast enough
Asia Minor:
Turkish child who should be at home anyway
Journalist:
Prisoner
Academic:
Prisoner
Dervish:
Turkish branch of Islam for those driving diesel-engined road vehicles. Because they sit in a cab for so long they dance ecstatically when they get out
Anatolia:
Happens to journalists and academics in the shower block
Cappadocia:
Turkish coffee
Hammam:
Turkish Muslims don't eat this
Hummus:
People who can’t remember the words to the Turkish national anthem
Doner kebab:
Dinner left to someone else after you are arrested for not knowing the national anthem
Conclusion:
Erdoğan wins again. Honest, ğuv